Building Bridges – Speaking without words

Comity Advisors

In an excerpt from their book, Body Language (published by Prentice Hall Regents, Englewood Cliffs, NJ, in 1982), D. R. Levine and M. B. Edelman provided the following example of transactions that occur in intercultural communication:

“An American police officer, a Russian engineer, and a Jordanian teacher made the following comments about interactions they had with someone from a different culture.

1) “He didn’t look at me once. I know he’s guilty. Never trust a person who doesn’t look you in the eye. (American police officer)

2) “Americans smile at strangers. I don’t know what to think of that. (Russian engineer)

3) “Americans seem cold. They seem to get upset when you stand close to them. (Jordanian teacher)”

Their comments demonstrate how people can misinterpret nonverbal communication that is culturally different from their own. Of course, this also can happen in conversation among individuals from the same cultural background, but it doesn’t usually happen as often or to the same degree. Many think that they simply need to pay attention to the spoken word in a conversation, but this is far from the truth.

Language studies have traditionally emphasized verbal and written communication. But, since about the 1960s, researchers seriously began to consider what takes place without words in conversations. In some instances, more nonverbal than verbal communication occurs.

For example, if you ask an obviously depressed person, “What’s wrong?” and he answers, “Nothing, I’m fine,” you probably won’t believe him. Or, when an angry person says “Let’s forget this subject. I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” he or she hasn’t stopped communicating. Instead, the silence and withdrawal continue to convey emotional meaning.

One study done in the United States showed that 93% of a message was transmitted by the speaker’s tone of voice and facial expressions. Only 7% of the person’s attitude was conveyed by words. Apparently, we express our emotions and attitudes more nonverbally than verbally.

Communication is the key to understanding, with or without words. Consequently, it is essential to pay attention to non-verbal signals, those you employ as well as those employed by the person you are engaged with in conversation. It is also crucial to recognize that non-verbal communication is “culturally bound,” and therefore, must be understood in the context of one’s cultural experiences.

Please contact Roberta Medina at [email protected] if you have comments or would like to join the Comity Advisors.